People Who I Need To Kick In The Groin

Friday 4 July 2003

Here is a list of some people who deserve my ire lately:

1. the person who took the right fork to hit a major road and then decided to turn left at the stop sign, all in the name of avoiding the light (at the cost of delaying ten cars that did it the right way)
2. the 95% of the audience who I shared the theater with the other night, none of whom were actually there to see the movie
3. whoever is responsible for the 930 junk/spam emails I just discovered while logging into my work web-based email for the first time
4. whoever scraped my new car's fender while backing out, and then fled

Since I'm a fan of offering actual solutions rather than just complaining, here are my current top solutions to each of these problems:

1. where's a cop when you need one? ok, if not a cop, an 18-wheeler to get the point across (intersections are designed as they are for a reason)
2. pepper spray (I'm serious)
3. hack the hackers
4. scope out that parking lot, same day and time, and look for appropriately damaged vehicle, then apply extreme amounts concussive force with new 32 oz. Louisville Slugger I just bought

Whew. I feel a little better now.

No rant last week because I was recovering from a twisted ankle suffered in game 1 of one of my teams' playoff tournaments.