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+ THE ADVENTURERS +
+ Epic II +
+ Many of the locations, non-player characters, spells, and +
+ other terms used in these stories are the property of TSR, Inc. +
+ However, this does not mean that TSR in any way endorses or +
+ authorizes their use, and any such items contained within these +
+ stories should not be considered representative of TSR in any +
+ way, shape, or form. +
+ The player characters contained in these writings are copy- +
+ right 1991-6 by Thomas Miller. Any resemblance to any persons +
+ or characters either real or fictional is utterly coincidental. +
+ Copying and/or distribution of these tales is permissible only +
+ under the sole condition that no part of them will be used or +
+ sold for profit. In that case, I hope you enjoy them... +
+ Thomas Miller +
+ firstname.lastname@example.org +
+ Alindyar 17th level drow mage (N) +
+ Lyra 13th level female drow mage (N) +
+ Belphanior (14th)^3 level elven fighter/wizard/thief (CN) +
+ Otto 8th/9th level dwarven fighter/thief (CN) +
+ Ged 15th/14th level grey elven priest/mage (NG) +
+ Arnold 13th level human barbarian warrior (NG) +
+ Deryck 8th level half-elven ranger (NG) +
+ Nenya 8th/9th level female elven warrior/mage (NG) +
+ Halbarad 13th level human ranger (NG) +
+ Mongo 18th level dwarven fighter (CG) +
+ Gorin 9th level dwarven fighter (NG) +
+ Peldor 20th level human thief (N) +
+ Tanya 5th/11th level female human fighter/thief (N) +
+ Bosco 11th level halfling thief (CN) +
+ Peyote 11th/12th level half-elven warrior/druid (N) +
+ Rillen 17th level human monk (N) +
+ Songa 13th level human huntress (N) +
+ Rob 15th level priest (LG) +
+ Date: 4/15/576 C.Y. (Common Year) +
+ Time: late morning +
+ Place: Ged's castle, west of Greyhawk +
+ Climate: pleasant +
+ "What you deserve and what you get are two different things." +
+ - from _Direct Hit_ +
CDXXV. Together Again Like Never Before
After various preliminary activities, preparations, and the like,
the big day is finally here: Peldor is about to get married!
Belphanior: Such a momentous event.
Alindyar: I can hardly believe it.
Mongo: Me neither. The old Peldor is gone...here's the new one.
Rillen: (shaking his head)
Peldor: Guys, guys, guys. You knew it had to happen someday.
Belphanior: Yeah, but still...
Peldor: I just had to get established first - make a home and a good
future for myself.
Alindyar: You certainly seem to have accomplished that.
Peldor: Indeed I have, and now's my time. (he looks around at his
Those present in this fitting room - Alindyar, Belphanior, Mongo,
and Rillen - were the groomsmen. All wore matching suits, each set
of these fine garments consisting of a long-sleeved leather jerkin
and matching pants, white in color, and a pair of shiny white leather
boots. They all fit well, having been custom-tailored, except for
Mongo's. The stocky dwarf had torn the seams where the arms met the
shoulders, since his jerkin was too tight around his shoulders.
Mongo: Don't know why, but those damn tailors can't make a good suit
for a dwarf. Probably because dwarves weren't meant to dress up
fancy like this.
Peldor: Ah, don't sweat it. It's just one hour in one day of your
Rillen: But many more hours and days of yours.
Peldor: (smirks) You guys aren't going to let me live this down, are
Alindyar: Absolutely not.
Belphanior: (chuckling to himself) And you're going to let a high
priest of Boccob perform the ritual...
Peldor: This has nothing to do with Boccob. Ged's one of my best
friends - all of you are, that's why you're the groomsmen. You
Bosco: (dances into the room) Check it out! Bosco the Groomsman!
Well-dressed, dressed to kill in these snazzy new threads!
Mongo: Oh, hell. If I have to listen to this the whole time.
Bosco: Never fear - I'll think of something else to say.
Alindyar: (considering the benefits of a silence spell) Hmm.
Peldor: (to Belphanior) Tanya had a slight preference for the high
priest of Celestian, but she has no problem with Ged. He deserves
this, if anyone does.
Mongo: You haven't gotten religion, have you?
Peldor: Not quite - and especially not Boccob's religion. Heh.
Bosco: I'll bet that-
Ged: (enters the room) Never accept a bet from a halfling, that's
some good advice.
Peldor: Ah, there you are! Is everything ready?
Ged: Yea. The guests are filing in now.
Bosco: Lots of guests...lots of pockets.
Rillen: (to Mongo) Only Bosco...
Bosco: Only Bosco dares.
Ged: (to Peldor) Recovered from last night?
Peldor: I feel great. Some say that I had too much to drink last
night, but I'm not believing it for a moment.
Bosco: All terrible lies, aren't they?
Peldor: Yep, I'm afraid so.
Alindyar: That isn't what Tanya told Lyra.
Rillen: What's that?
Peldor: Stop these untruths - they make my ears hurt.
Ged: (to Belphanior) Where's this girlfriend of yours? I've heard
so much about her.
Belphanior: Uh, she's not feeling well - had to stay in bed.
Ged: Oh, that's a real shame. I was looking forward to meeting her.
Belphanior: Maybe some other time...
Ged: Well, at least we have everyone else. Mongo, what happened to
Mongo: I dunno. Guess they don't make 'em like they used to.
Peldor: Are Halbarad and Rob here? And Derider? And Nerof Gasgal?
Ged: (nodding repeatedly) Everything's okay.
Mongo: (flexing in annoyance, as he ponders ripping it off and going
Bosco: So when does this ball get rolling?
Ged: Momentarily. As soon as Calvin comes in to tell us that it's
time, you'll all go out there. Except you, Peldor.
Ged: You have to wait here until a later point in the ceremony.
Peldor: (feigning ignorance) Oh.
Ged: We've been over this before.
Calvin: (enters) They're ready for the groomsmen.
Ged: Right. (he directs the others to the door, and momentarily,
only he and Peldor remain in the antechamber) Sure you're ready
for this, my friend?
Peldor: Sure I'm sure.
Ged: Well, I don't think you're ready. Here, allow me. (he steps
over and straightens Peldor's collar)
An almost-too-brief time later, Ged and Peldor were in place at the
front of the chapel. Each of the groomsmen escorted a female down the
aisle: Alindyar and Lyra, Rillen and Nenya, Bosco and Felicia, and so
forth. After all of these people were in place, and the low notes of
organ music began drifting into the arched hall, Tanya finally made
her entrance. Clad in a beautiful, flowing white dress, the red-haired
beauty was truly impressive. Even the married (or practically so) men
in the audience couldn't help but gasp in envy.
For Peldor, the whole thing actually seemed to fly by. One moment,
he was standing amidst his best men, happily watching Tanya walk down
the aisle; the next moment, Ged was saying "kiss the bride." And he
did, to much rejoicing. Flowers and hats sailed everywhere, and the
entire procession moved into an adjoining room for the reception, where
hero might mingle with official, constable with thief, and elf with
dwarf in relative peace.
Derider Fanshaen: (claps Ged on the shoulder) Well-done.
Ged: Thanks, thanks. It went flawlessly.
Peldor: (claps Ged on his other shoulder) I couldn't agree more.
Mongo: That kicked ass!
Belphanior: (nods) Congratulations.
Rillen: Yes...so when will we see little Peldors?
Tanya: (smiling) Don't hold your breath.
Nenya: Maybe not before you see little Derycks.
Deryck: (laughs) Ha, ha. Very funny. We'll see.
Bosco: Been busy, huh? (he begins looking for Derider, who isn't in
this group anymore)
Leonardo: (wandering around, checking out all of his food which has
been set up on numerous tables, for the guests) Ay, ay, ay! The
Peldor: Good job, Leo. It's splendid.
Alindyar: (nods as he tries a pastry) Verily, splendor incarnate.
Leonardo: (moves on, happily, gauging various peoples' reactions to
Bosco: (gorging himself at every opportunity) Mmm.
Peyote: (still looking for mushrooms) Aw, man...
Otto: I doubt we'll find any oysters here, either.
Peyote: Yeah, but otherwise, this rocks!
Halbarad: (shakes hands with Peldor) My congratulations.
Turin Deathstalker: (clasps hands with Peldor too) And my condolences.
(he grins merrily)
Felicia: (to Tanya) Did I do okay?
Tanya: (squeezes the girl's shoulder) You did just fine.
Rob: (nearly collides with Peldor) Whoa...oops.
Rob: (looks confused for a moment) Peldor! (he pumps the other's
hand vigorously) Congratulations!
Peldor: Thanks. Glad you could make it.
Rob: Well, actually, I almost didn't. You see, my wagon crashed into
Peyote: Heh. You're one dizzy dude, Rob.
Rob: But I'm feeling much better now.
Songa: (walking among the crowd, she peers over the heads of most of
the others present) Midgets...
Rillen: Now, now.
Arnold: (looking around, he ends up bumping into Vinnie) Aaa.
Vinnie: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Bosco: Good thing I left the ferrets at home, eh?
Halbarad: Ferrets? Where?
Peyote: Ferrets rule. They rule!
Gorin: These ferrets also steal...
Nerof Gasgal: They must be well-trained.
Peldor: Nerof! (they clasp hands)
Nerof: Um...I need to have a word with you.
Peldor: Oh, yeah, okay. Just a moment - I've got to greet a few more
Nerof: No problem. I'll be in the east hall.
And so it went, Peldor and Tanya being congratulated, and thanking
in return. Food and drink were consumed in plentiful quantities, the
dancing soon began, the bards played on, and everyone was quite happy.
Peldor: (to a high-ranking merchant of Greyhawk) Excuse me a moment.
I've got to take care of something.
merchant: Of course, of course.
Peldor: (heads for the east hall, finding Nerof there)
Nerof: Ah, there you are.
Peldor: (closes the door) So, you've made your choice? For Thieves'
Nerof: Yes, we have. It wasn't easy, and we argued about it for quite
a long time, but we've finally reached a verdict.
Peldor: (leans against a wall, smiling expectantly)
Nerof: The new Greyhawk Thieves' Guildmaster is...Sharyn Messandier.
Nerof: Calm down, now-
Peldor: That scheming, conniving, lying bitch?!? What the hell were
Nerof: Overall, she's the best qualified, and-
Peldor: No, no, no! How could you people DO this to me?!?
Nerof: We didn't just "do" anything to you, Peldor. You've done an
outstanding job, but...you haven't been here enough.
Peldor: (sarcastically) I suppose I should be thankful that you
didn't pick the Weasel.
Nerof: Simpkin will never run the guild in my city.
Peldor: (turns on Nerof again) Dammit! I can't believe this! And
on my wedding day, of all times...! (he punches a wall) Ow.
Nerof: Don't worry, there's good news too. You're being reinstated
to your old job - River Quarter Guildmaster.
Nerof: We checked out all of your and Org's records, and they're
clean. Everyone knows you're not guilty of anything in that recent
Peldor: Let me get this straight: you're going to let me resume my
River Quarter duties?
Nerof: That's right. As of today.
Peldor: I don't think so.
Peldor: I said thanks, but no thanks. I like to get kissed before I
get fucked. I quit. (he turns and walks away)
next: turning point
ftp: ftp.digex.net in /pub/access/dpm/rpg/stories/adventurers
ftp.nol.net in /pub/users/zac/rpg/adventurers/
mail: email@example.com (preferred)
notes: I know it's inconsistent, but in this episode's headers
I put Lyra as "subservient" to Alindyar, ditto Arnold & Ged. It
looks neater that way - shows you who the most senior adventurers
Not only is this the first time in awhile that a multiple-of-25
episode wasn't extra-long, it's also been awhile since one ended
on a non-positive note. Enjoy!
previous chapter (#424)
next chapter (#426)